Deceptions by Lauren Maddison

Author:Lauren Maddison [Maddison, Lauren]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, pdf
Tags: ! Yes
ISBN: 9781555834906
Publisher: Alyson Publications
Published: 1999-05-01T05:00:00+00:00

Monday evening Washington, D.C.

Benjamin Hawthorne sat in the dark. The sun had long since set, but he had made no move to switch on the desk lamp. He had never felt more alone.

John was dead.

He did not need confirmation of the explosion in Los Alamos, but he’d still checked the wire services first thing this morning and discovered the brief news item. That gentle old man was the closest thing he’d ever had to a best friend or brother. Now he was gone, obliterated, and, along with John had gone most of Benjamin’s hope. As long as there had been the two of them, and the old woman, there was a chance. Now, who else could he turn to?

He could not quite convince himself that Marty was ready for this level of responsibility. No matter how competent he had shown himself to be, he was too young, still learning about realities. Connor? No. He had already endangered his daughter’s life. The bomb at the townhouse had demonstrated that. He couldn’t bear to see her harmed. Ariana’s death had visited so much pain on the person he loved most in this world, and it was his fault. He should have been more careful. But who was after this secret he had held in trust for so many years? Who? Did they know what they were seeking, or was it simply suspicion? And why did they move now?

It seemed as if the weight of his years and the weight of a lifetime spent protecting secrets and holding the lives of other people in his hands was crushing him. It was not the first time Benjamin had felt despair, but it was the first time he seriously considered surrendering to it. He slipped open the center drawer of his desk. There, tucked into a custom-made cradle, was a gun, a Glock 9mm, on the small side perhaps, but equal to its purpose. He picked it up, weighing it in the palm of his hand, absorbing its promise of death through his skin. Cold, sleek, ugly, final. It was loaded of course, nine shells in the clip, one in the chamber, the only one that would count. He clicked off the safety. He knew how to do this properly; he just needed to steady his nerves for a moment.

But, as he stared at the gun in his hand and listened to the clock gently ticking away what could be the last few seconds of his life, Benjamin knew he could not do this thing. He could not abandon his daughter, a gentle, loving woman, so wounded as a child, now so wounded as an adult. How could he add to that pain? And how could he end his own life until he was absolutely sure she was safe? He thought of Amanda, though not with the same affection, at least not anymore. In his heart, pity now reigned where love for her had once held sway. But still, he would not wish to hurt her.

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